Monday, March 5, 2007
This is what happens when I start complaining. . .
I got a job! Today was a good day. Just sitting around home minding my business (yay spring break!) when I get a phone call - from my top-choice job prospect, which I'd given up on getting about a week ago. Funny how that works. You bust your hump looking for a job until life just about breaks your back, then you get what you were after. Ain't that some shit? But I try not to sweat it too much. It's like Cube said: Life ain't nothing but bitches and money.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Welcome to the Blacklist!
Dear Diary,
I am a second-year law student at one of the Big 15. I did well in undergrad, though I went to a less presitgious school. I am articulate; I am respectful; I interview well. And I am unemployable. I began my job search - that is, a job for this coming summer - LAST summer; I believe it was mid-July. Now, nearly nine months later, I remain jobless. Let's put that in some perspective. If, at the inception of my job search, I had said to a single sperm and egg, "I bet I can find a job before you two can combine, gestate, and develop into a fully formed human being," I would have LOST that bet. My lack of employment, given my decent undergraduate performance, my useful prior summer work, and my status as a student at a good school leads me to the following query: What the fuck??
As such, I've posited a few theories as to my failure to obtain gainful (or any) employment.
1) I am the greatest statistical anomaly short of the guy who gets struck by lightning 3 separate times.
2) During job interviews, I tell dead baby jokes - though I never remember doing it.
3) I've been black listed somehow.
I evaluate as follows:
1) I'm just not that lucky (or unlucky). There's no way sheer coincidence has led me down the path of unemployment. Nor does Fate care about me enough to fuck with me that bad.
2) Even if this were true, dead baby jokes are funny. If I did have the guts to tell them in interviews, that might actually score me a job.
3) This is the only thing that makes sense. I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, but this is the conspiracy, as I theorize it: At the beginning of the first year of law school, the dean of each American law school draws a single student's name from a hat. I'm picturing a candle-lit ceremony with hoods and robes. Maybe some Gregorian chanting. That name is then read aloud, the group hisses, and the slip with the name is then set afire in a Santeria-style prayer candle. Later, an appointed dean emails the students' names to every legal employer in the WORLD. There's a database somewhere. Thenceforth, those students will not get a job. I think I am one of those students - one of the Untouchables. I have been black listed - a modern day Dalton Trumbo to the legal community's Joe McCarthy.
I will fight this conspiracy. I will get myself a job. And I will BLOG ABOUT IT! The world will know my story.
I'll do my best to recap most of what's happened thus far in posts to come.
Cheers -
Bob Loblaw
I am a second-year law student at one of the Big 15. I did well in undergrad, though I went to a less presitgious school. I am articulate; I am respectful; I interview well. And I am unemployable. I began my job search - that is, a job for this coming summer - LAST summer; I believe it was mid-July. Now, nearly nine months later, I remain jobless. Let's put that in some perspective. If, at the inception of my job search, I had said to a single sperm and egg, "I bet I can find a job before you two can combine, gestate, and develop into a fully formed human being," I would have LOST that bet. My lack of employment, given my decent undergraduate performance, my useful prior summer work, and my status as a student at a good school leads me to the following query: What the fuck??
As such, I've posited a few theories as to my failure to obtain gainful (or any) employment.
1) I am the greatest statistical anomaly short of the guy who gets struck by lightning 3 separate times.
2) During job interviews, I tell dead baby jokes - though I never remember doing it.
3) I've been black listed somehow.
I evaluate as follows:
1) I'm just not that lucky (or unlucky). There's no way sheer coincidence has led me down the path of unemployment. Nor does Fate care about me enough to fuck with me that bad.
2) Even if this were true, dead baby jokes are funny. If I did have the guts to tell them in interviews, that might actually score me a job.
3) This is the only thing that makes sense. I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, but this is the conspiracy, as I theorize it: At the beginning of the first year of law school, the dean of each American law school draws a single student's name from a hat. I'm picturing a candle-lit ceremony with hoods and robes. Maybe some Gregorian chanting. That name is then read aloud, the group hisses, and the slip with the name is then set afire in a Santeria-style prayer candle. Later, an appointed dean emails the students' names to every legal employer in the WORLD. There's a database somewhere. Thenceforth, those students will not get a job. I think I am one of those students - one of the Untouchables. I have been black listed - a modern day Dalton Trumbo to the legal community's Joe McCarthy.
I will fight this conspiracy. I will get myself a job. And I will BLOG ABOUT IT! The world will know my story.
I'll do my best to recap most of what's happened thus far in posts to come.
Cheers -
Bob Loblaw
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